u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
