and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
