It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize