yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Randomize
