I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
