Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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