he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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