I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
