DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
