what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
