i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize