I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left