Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio