dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
