I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
