The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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