Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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