I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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