I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My ass is underappreciated
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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