I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
