Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
