Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize