He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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