you would pick up someone in the library
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The air was thick with penises
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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