I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize