I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
