We're like a lot better than the average bears
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
