oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
