I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
