Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize