Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
