chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
