Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
