Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
