I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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