gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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