i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
