my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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