so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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