absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there's paper in my vomit.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
