so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Randomize
