hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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