think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
