Do vagina's smell?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
