If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
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I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
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My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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