I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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