I think i peed on brittanys purse
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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