420 ftw
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
