Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize