I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
no, he came in my armpit
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
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