Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
