i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
