My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize