Don't make out with my wife yet
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize