...so i touched it.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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