DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
