we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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