YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
