i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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