Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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