i think my tv is drunk
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's never too late to be topless.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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