He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
